Fallen Petals
by Chibi Taryn Demon
Summary: Complete! The play of light and darkness draws to a close. Sephiroth's actions towards Aeris finally hit home-changing her, and him, forever. Aeris x Zack, Aeris x Sephiroth non-consentual.
1. Fire and Ice

This is going to be a bit of a change from 'Reflect the Sky'. It's a bit darker and more serious, and will focus more on Sephiroth, and what might've been going on in that chaotic little mind of his. ^_^ Enjoy~~~

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all related characters, names, and places are copyright to Squaresoft. 

**Fire and Ice **

Some say the world will end in fire,  
Some say in ice.  
From what I've tasted of desire  
I hold with those who favour fire.  
But if it had to perish twice,  
I think I know enough of hate  
To say that for destruction ice  
Is also great  
And would suffice.

--Robert Frost, "Fire and Ice"

**Fire and Ice**

Sephiroth could still remember the first time he saw her. The moment was forever engraved in his mind; even if he had wanted to forget it, which he didn't, he was incapable of losing that memory. For some reason, it always burned brightly in the jumble of his thoughts. Nothing, not even Jenova, could erase it. 

He reflected about that, after his death, and concluded that it was probably to antagonize him. Seeing her pure, sweet visage at every turn was one of the best forms of torture his tormentors could have come up with. Because even after all this time, Sephiroth remained confused about her. 

She was so beautiful, with emerald eyes much clearer than his, and long wavy tresses of golden brown hair. She was slender and rather small for someone around 22 years old. She had always been smiling, the smile that radiated warmth and kindness and a love for all beings. Her every action was selfless, right until the end. Aeris, the last Cetra, was perfection. As much as someone like him could, Sephiroth loved her.

And yet…he hated her.  

How dare she escape from Shinra and lead a happy life, while he suffered under them as nothing more than an experiment. How dare she remain pure and uncorrupted despite everything she had been through, while he lose his mind and became the epitome of evil. How dare she smile! Aeris…sweet, lovely, _torturous_ Aeris, was an enigma. He couldn't understand her, and that made his anger towards her even greater, even though somewhere inside him he knew he was being irrational. 

She was everything he could not be, beauty and gentleness and innocence. He yearned for that and was repulsed at the same time. Aeris was the flame that entranced when observed, but burned when touched.  

How dare she make him feel this way. 

The old flickers of hatred and desire warred within his mind as he remembered the day of their first meeting…


	2. Desire

To answer someone's question (Tori's, I think) this isn't a remake of "Reflect the Sky", or even related to it in any way. This is gonna be dark, and RTS is more waffy and dramatic. So read on, and thanks to all who reviewed.

Fire and Ice: Desire 

He had been pulled from the field to inspect suspected terrorist activity in Midgar. It was insulting, really, that a high-ranking General such as he should be reduced to menial tasks like hunting around in the slums for those AVALANCHE dogs. He had more important things to do, and had questioned President Shinra as to why he was searching for AVALANCHE when a lower-ranking soldier could have done the job just as well. 

"Simply put, General Sephiroth, you are the best at what you do. While the maneuvers you were doing in the field were important, it is imperative that the rebels are captured before they have the opportunity to cause real harm. I have the utmost faith that you are best suited for the job."

Sephiroth had ground his teeth in annoyance, but said nothing, and followed orders are they were given. It was suspected that AVALANCHE had a mole in Shinra, and that together they were plotting to blow up Mako Reactors. Therefore, surprise searches of each of Midgar's plates were to be carried out. They were on the sixth or seventh plate now, he couldn't be quite sure, and so far, they had come up with nothing. It didn't help that people fled as soon as they saw the SOLDIER-logo embroidered on their suits.

"What now, Sir?" His second-in command on this investigation, a young man named Zack Braf, asked him.

"Proceed as usual. Start with that warehouse over there, and search everything. Tear the place down if you have to." Sephiroth ordered dismissively. Zack saluted and strode to deliver the instructions to the rest of the men. 

Sephiroth sighed. He was immensely bored with the entire affair, and left the hunting to his troops. The silver-haired young man allowed his smouldering emerald eyes to wander. 

And that was when he saw her.

She was standing on the nearby street corner, barely visible for the heavy, ever present sheen of smog. Of course his Mako-enhanced eyes cut right through it, but she didn't know that. In fact, it was doubtful whether she could see far enough through the smoke to see any of the SOLDIERs at all. Sephiroth took advantage of this and stared.

She was slender and petite in stature, with a shapely but not overly curvaceous body. Long waves of golden brown hair cascaded down her back to end at her hips, and her long-lashed eyes were the glimmering green of the Lifestream. In her pink dress, with her basketful of flowers, she was a bright flare of light against the dreary gray backdrop of the Midgar streets. Even the rare blossoms she held paled in comparison to her own angelic appearance. 

He willed her to speak, desperate and demanding to hear her voice, to see if it matched her lovely visage. The young woman turned slightly, almost facing him now, and shifted her basket in her arms. A look of faint uneasiness was on her face, but she dispelled it quickly. Her soft pink lips opened and she spoke.

"Flowers for sale, one gil each!" Her voice was as clear as bells, with the same silver, ringing quality. Simply beautiful.

Sephiroth's first assessment was that she was a fool. Selling something as rare as a flower for one gil? You couldn't buy a shoelace for one gil, much less live on it. Either she was rich and selling flowers for fun, which he seriously doubted, or she was just poor and naïve and sold them for one gil because she didn't know any better. One more look at her large, sincere eyes convinced him that was what it was.  

How was it that a girl of the slums could radiate such innocence? He had wondered, and would wonder until the end of his days. It was very strange indeed, and is was this questioning that first made him obsess about her. 

"General Sephiroth!" Zack's voice intruded into his thoughts, and he snapped around, angry at being caught unawares. Zack flinched slightly under the glare of those narrow green eyes, and stammered, "S-sir, we've been told to leave by the T-Turks…"

"The Turks?" Sephiroth snorted derisively. "You do not take orders from them. You take them from me."

"Yes, but they have special notice from Professor Hojo…" Zack completely faltered when the silver-haired man's furious glare increased tenfold at the mention of Hojo.

"What does this notice say?" He hissed, voice low and threatening. Zack forced himself to look away from Sephiroth's cold eyes, instead focusing on the wall just next to the General's head. 

"That this is a sensitive area, and they need the run of it. They're hunting for the last Cetra…she's already gotten away from them twice and Hojo is throwing a fit…" He hoped he had said the right thing. 

"The last Cetra?" There was an odd buzzing in Sephiroth's ears, and he felt his mind shudder as a strangely foreign presence struggled to make itself known. He forcibly suppressed it. "She is here, in the slums?"

"That's what they said, Sir," answered Zack with respect and more than a little fear. "That she sells flowers here and returns to some old church at night…"

"Hmm." Was all Sephiroth said, his agile mind already fitting the pieces together. "Pull out, then. We'll search another day. Give the Turks my regards." With a cool smile, Sephiroth strode away, his black trench coat twisting on the wind. 

Zack gave an audible sigh of relief and motioned for the SOLDIERs to get into formation and follow the General back to headquarters. He watched them leave and ran his hands through his wild black hair, feeling apprehensive. He leaned heavily against the graffiti-ed wall behind him, and mulled over what had just happened. There was something indiscernible in Sephiroth's eyes when Zack told him of the Cetra girl…something chilling and smoldering all at once. Something not unlike…desire. 

Zack didn't know how long he had stood against the wall, lost in thought, until the touch of a gentle hand startled him.

"Excuse me, sir, are you alright?" A voice of velvet and silver asked him. Zack blinked to clear his vision, and blinked again to make sure he was awake. A beautiful girl was looking at him with concern in her emerald eyes. Zack had seen a lot of pretty women in his lifetime; he was known for being a ladies-man and a proclaimed bachelor. One look at this girl and he was willing to give all that up.

He realized she was still watching him with distress. "I'm fine, miss, don't worry about me. Thank you."

"Of course." She smiled and the gray skies brightened if only for a moment. "But I must be going…"

"Wait!" Zack cursed himself for sounding so desperate. "Uhhh…allow me to walk you home. The slums at night are no place for a beautiful young woman as yourself." 

A cute blush appeared on her cheeks. "Well…okay! Thanks. I'm Aeris, by the way." 

Zack repeated the name a hundred times inside his head. It made him think of clouds and blossoming flowers, all embraced by the peaceful green of her eyes. Those same green eyes were watching him expectantly.

"Oh! Right. Nice to meet you, Aeris, I'm Zack." He knew he was acting foolish, but for some reason, he knew it wouldn't matter to Aeris. Acceptance practically emanated from her. 

"Zack," she repeated, and he loved the way his name sounded when she said it. 

They walked off down the street together, talking quietly and amicably, and when they had reached Elmyra's home by the abandoned church, they had plans to meet the following night.      

Zack felt like shouting his happiness to the world. Aeris was just so…different from anyone he had ever met! In the short time he had known her, she had made him happier than he had ever been. Her smile could light up a room, and her attitude was purely compassionate. 

He knew he had to have her. 

Ironically, Sephiroth was thinking the exact same thing.

His eyes, darker green in hue than Aeris's, burned with a mounting obsession. In addition to being the near personification of purity and kindness, the girl known as Aeris was also a Cetra. It was almost too good to be true. She would have all the knowledge and power of her extinct race at her disposal. She would be able to tell him what or who he really was. She would be the answer to all his questions.

She would be his.  

Hope you all liked it! ^_^ I'm not sure where I'm going with this, though…**massive sweatdrop**


	3. Hatred

Disclaimer: FFVII is property of Squaresoft.

Get ready for a long author's note!

I just realized, there's a story *kinda* like this already on ff.net! It's called Sadistic Love, and it's really a great fic by Akira Silveracious Majere. If you like my story, you should check that out. F&I might seem to be similar, but it's turning in a different direction. In Akira-san's, Aeris returns Sephiroth's affections…ahem! I'm warning you all now, Sephiroth will be a bit warped (and perverted). Seriously. He will do some…not-nice things, and he doesn't care. This isn't one of those "and Sephy realizes he was wrong and goes off with Aeris and they rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after" fics, though I do like those a lot ^_^. It's…well, dark. And not necessarily an AeriSeph. So proceed with caution…

Fire and Ice: Hatred 

Sephiroth found it very easy to hate Zack the next day. The black-haired young man was in a state of constant joy: grinning like an idiot, humming, talking nonstop about _her_ and how wonderful she was. The other SOLDIERs listened with mixtures of envy and amusement as Zack described their walk home together with amazing detail.

"So how was she in bed, Zack?" One asked. His companions guffawed and slapped each other on the backs.

"Guys, please," Zack looked pained, "this is different. _She_ is different. She's not a love 'em and leave 'em kind of girl. She's the kind you fall in love with." 

"You're tellin' us you love her, after you just met her? The infamous womanizer Zack is ready to settle down? I don't believe what I'm hearin'!" laughed a fellow SOLDIER, giving Zack a good-natured punch on the shoulder. "She must be some girl if she's already got you hooked. But if she's really as great as you say, then I'm happy for you, man!" 

Zack beamed. "She's a hundred times better." His hand wandered into his pocket, and he pulled out the parting gift Aeris had given him last night: a perfect pink rose, grown in her own garden. She had pressed it into his hand, saying lightly that she had had a great time and would love to meet him again. Playing it cool, Zack had nonchalantly agreed to a time and place, keeping up his calm exterior until Aeris had smiled and closed the door of her home. As soon as he was sure she wouldn't hear, he had whooped his happiness to the heavens.     

Zack brought the flower to his nose and inhaled deeply. Its sweet, natural scent reminded him of Aeris, and she reminded him of what a cheerful mood he was in. 

"Life is great," he sighed, brushing aside a lock of black hair that fell into his eyes. He twirled the rose with his thumb and forefinger, admiring how it shone even under the false sunlight. 

"Hey loverboy! Snap to attention, the General's coming!" whispered his friend. The ten or so SOLDIERs quickly stood up and arranged themselves in a line, shoulders squared and backs straightened. They smoothed the wrinkles from their suits moments before the General came into full view. 

Sephiroth, his long silver hair streaming behind him, surveyed his troop with his normal critical eye. In his white shoulder guards and outfit of dully gleaming black, he looked as he always did: imposing, cold, emotionless, the perfect General for Shin-ra. No one, he knew, would be perceptive enough to sense the change in him. Awakened within him was the heady, intoxicating feeling of desire; it slumbered now, deep within his breast, and would stir once again at the mention, the _hint _of her. Awake, too, was his hatred; concentrated and smoldering, it was nearly as intoxicating as his lust.     

That's when he saw it. His beautiful emerald eyes narrowed imperceptibly, and grew vibrant with suppressed anger. Sephiroth stepped in front of Zack, and stared down at the slightly shorter man. Zack returned his flinty glare with an almost surprised, earnest look of determination.

"What," said Sephiroth with deadly precision, "is that?"

"It's a flower, sir," answered Zack. The obvious statement might have caused a few men to snicker, had this been any other General. Sephiroth had never been laughed at, and if someone had, surely he was not around to tell the tale. 

"A SOLDER has no need for feminine things of nature like flowers," he spat out the last word as though it left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Give it to me."

Zack opened his mouth to protest, and for a moment, all present tensed and held their breath. Sephiroth leaned back slightly on his heels, his eyes glittering beneath silver lashes, and everything in his stance was daring Zack to object. _Give me the slightest excuse to kill you, Zack…_he remembered thinking. _I will do it, gladly. _

Zack, perhaps sensing the danger he was in, snapped his mouth shut and wordlessly handed Sephiroth the rose. His hand dropped back to his side, looking very empty. Sephiroth didn't glance at him again.

"Move out. Today you search the east end of the slums." He ordered, disinterestedly. The SOLDERs filed past him, each mentally grumbling to himself about the menial work and the general unfairness of it all. Zack was the last to leave. He paused, and looked halfway over his shoulder at Sephiroth.

"Something to say, Braf?" inquired Sephiroth, smiling sardonically as he held up the rose. He watched Zack's back stiffen. 

"No, sir," Zack near-growled, and followed his comrades out into the dingy, metallic streets. 

_Idiot, _thought Sephiroth derisively. _He isn't worthy. _He turned his attention back to the flower in his grasp. It looked so light and delicate between his black-gloved fingers; a beautiful gift of nature to a ravaged world. Gently, the fingertips of his other hand caressed the silky soft petals before cupping it lovingly. Its shade, a pale blushing pink, was the color of her lips. How extraordinary. 

His smile, which had been approaching genuine, turned malicious. He watched the rose slide down into the palm of his hand, fragile and perfect. His fingers curled about it tenderly, affectionately, before his hand clenched into a tight fist. The stem snapped, and the petals tore out to flicker and fall to the stained pavement. He opened his hand, and the crumpled remains of the rose fluttered down by his boots. Still smiling his charming, spiteful smile, Sephiroth ground the destroyed flower into the sidewalk.           

"Ah, Aeris," he murmured almost inaudibly, "I'm sure it will be even more…pleasurable…to break you."  

In a thoroughly foul mood, Zack stalked down the street. The search for AVALANCH had proven futile once more, but that wasn't really what was bothering him. It was, of course, Sephiroth and the rose. Why had he taken it? He had never known Sephiroth to be so…so unreasonable! And then, there had been that strange look in the General's eyes again, past the coldness and the anger. What was it? Zack himself didn't know, and he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to. It appeared…well, deadly. Still, there was no reason to take his rose! Zack was so embroiled in his musings he didn't realize he had walked all the way to the street corner Aeris had agreed to meet him at.  

"Hi Zack!" He looked up and was greeted by her, an angel in pink and red, beaming at him happily. His bad mood vanished, and he grinned back with just as much enthusiasm. 

"Come on! I want to show you something!" To Zack's delight, she took his hand to lead him. As they walked, she chatted cheerfully, and his thoughts wandered, though they still centered on her. There was an innocent, childlike quality about her, he decided, that made everything she did special. Maybe that was why he liked her so much. That, and her beauty. Zack was only a man, after all, and he noticed all the things that men will. Aeris was slender, not too curvaceous, but with an inherent, unconscious grace in her movements. She was definitely attractive. Beautiful, of course. Angelic, even! 

Then it hit him, with the subtlety of a whisper but the force of a sledgehammer, leaving a strangely heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was impossible, really, but…was she attractive enough to be desirable to _Sephiroth_? He knew, as all the SOLDIERs did, that Sephiroth had been with women, but had never stayed with any past one night. They had been beautiful, sophisticated upper class women, attracted to his fame or his looks, nothing special. And there was the kicker. They weren't special…but _Aeris_ was. She was unearthly, nearly too good to be true, and if Zack had noticed, Sephiroth must have noticed too. Could Aeris be the source of the strange light in the General's eyes?

He felt a gentle pressure on his arm, and glanced to his side to see Aeris watching him.

"Zack? Are you alright? You look a little pale." She commented, her head tilted slightly as she kept observing him.

"Wha—? Oh yeah, I'm fine." Zack raised a hand to his forehead and grinned sheepishly, banishing all thoughts of Sephiroth from his mind and preferring instead to focus on the young woman beside him. Aeris searched his blue eyes with her own green for a moment, before giggling and walking faster. 

"Where are we going?" He asked, amused. She peeked shyly over her shoulder at him, face alight with joy and mischief. 

"It's a secret, and anyway, we're almost there!" Aeris grabbed his arm, and after a few more turns in the street, released him. The building she was now scampering over to was relatively small and shabby, though it looked to once have been a magnificent structure. The stone and metal it was made from was grayed, and looked very worn down.

"Come on, Zack!" Aeris called; she slipped in through the rotting doors, and beckoned for Zack to follow her. Somewhat confused, the SOLDIER did so, squeezing through the tight spot with some difficulty. The inside was old, very old; it held a certain mystical air that hushed even the bustle of Midgar. A forgotten place of worship, and here he was. 

Aeris was standing at the end of the aisle, in a stream of sunlight glinting through the window. It shone golden off her chocolate brown hair, creating the illusion of a halo around her head.  

"What is this place?" Zack asked, not noticing how awed his voice sounded.  

"This is the Church. It's where I come to get away from everything…out there, and it's where I grow my flowers." She smiled tenderly at the thick patches of yellow, pink, and blue petals behind her. Zack stared in amazement at the flora that basked in the ray of sunlight. Nature's small blessings smiled back at him, fairly singing with life as they clustered together. 

"I've…I've never seen anything like this," murmured Zack, as he knelt before the flowers. They were so beautiful, so delicate, so…out of place, in a harsh city like Midgar. Kind of like Aeris herself. Zack heard the whisper of fabric and a sudden comforting warmth at his side. Aeris knelt next to him and wrapped her graceful fingers around one of his hands. 

"Most people never have. Nature is hurt and retreating, even as technology advances, and people just turn away. How could they be expected to do anything else, when all they have been faced with is smoke and skyscrapers and Shin-Ra?" She frowned at the name of the company, her gentle features not angry but reproving.

"Shin-Ra's doing what's best for the people," shrugged Zack. _She knows I'm a Shin-Ra SOLDIER. In all truthfulness, I can't disagree with them._ But Aeris's mouth dropped open a little in shock, and she shook her head sadly. Then her shoulders relaxed. Her face took on a faraway expression, her eyes slightly glazed, and her voice grew soft. 

"The Planet is suffering…it screams in pain with every drop of Mako being stolen from its veins. Weakening as Shin-Ra's greed only swells, and begging for help as humans care only for themselves. Shin-Ra's appetite will never be sated, not until the Planet is sucked dry of Mako, and has become a dry, lifeless husk. The Planet…is slowly dying…and with it die the people…" 

Zack stared at her, confused and overwhelmed. Aeris blinked several times, and shook her head. Looking at Zack's face, she seemed to realize something strange had happened, and clapped her hands over her mouth. 

"…Aeris?" Zack found his voice. "What was that?" Aeris looked at him again, her pretty face solemn, and her eyes searching his for…something. Finally she smiled and returned her gaze to the flowers.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. I'm just a bit…passionate about the Planet, and how Shin-Ra has been hurting it," was her vague answer; he got the feeling there was more to it, but he didn't press her. There was silence between them for a few minutes, while Zack considered what she had said, and she considered Zack.

"Zack, I'm sorry," Aeris burst out imploringly, "I didn't mean to upset you." He favored her with a sickly grin, but assured her she wasn't the cause of it. The gears in his head were turning wildly now, casting doubt where there was none, making him question his life up until this point and the road he had taken.

"They are hurting the Planet, aren't they? I hadn't thought of it like that...I was always told Shin-Ra was doing what was best for the people. They can do such amazing things with Mako. It's for the people, they said." He thought aloud, quietly.

"Look outside, Zack. Shin-Ra is only doing what's best for themselves. They get richer and richer, and the regular people here in Midgar and all across the Planet just get poorer and poorer. They've got nothing left, and Shin-Ra just keeps taking. We don't even have real sunlight here." Aeris gently told him, watching as his expression changed and became disgusted, as he realized the truth in what she was saying. He gave a bitter laugh.

"All my life I've wanted to be a famous SOLDIER and work for the great Shin-Ra Company. It was such an honor to be chosen by them…I was so proud!  All this time I never knew…or I just never wanted to admit…that I'm working for the bad guys. I'm their…puppet. A little SOLDIER puppet, who fights their wars and does their dirty work, and intimidates the people we're supposed to be protecting!" He hung his head in shame, and started when a warm hand touched his cheek.

"Maybe the other SOLDIERs are like that," she told him, "but you are not. You're a kind, sweet, honest man, and that's the most anyone could hope to be."

Zack would have snorted or sneered at that, if only someone else had said it. She had such conviction in her voice that he simply asked softly, "How do you know that for sure?" 

Aeris blinked, surprised; then her lips curled into a gentle smile. "I can see it in you."

He believed her. It was impossible not to. With her brilliant emerald eyes shining, and a message of love and trust radiating from her, Aeris was truly an angel. His angel.  

Almost unconsciously, Zack inclined towards her. His rough, tanned hands cupped her face, and she didn't move away. Aeris smiled and leaned into his touch. He drew her closer, his heart beating rapidly and the blood rushing in his ears. No woman he had ever been with had made him feel so giddy and so nervous at the same time. A shy blush crept over Aeris's face, making her look even younger and more innocent, and her eyes remained locked in a gaze with his. 

Kneeling in that old, broken down Church, illuminated by the streak of golden sunlight, they kissed.

Aeris and Zack walked down the street, hand in hand. Aeris was talking happily, while Zack listened with interest. Normally, he wouldn't have cared for the chitchat, but he genuinely cared about what she had to say. Abruptly, Aeris stopped and looked around, her eyes narrowing as they skipped about. If Zack could have seen the hairs on the back of her neck, he would have noticed they were prickled and standing. For a terrifying instant, all Aeris could hear was the keening wail of the Planet in her head, while a chorus of her ancestors screamed that the danger was here, she was in danger, death was around the corner— 

"Something wrong?" asked Zack. Aeris exhaled the breath she had unconsciously been holding. She smiled at him and shook her head.

"No…but I do think I should be heading back home. I promised my mother I would help her this afternoon." Zack looked so crestfallen at the cutting-short of their date that Aeris giggled despite the vestiges of the Planet's warning in her mind. 

"However, if you'd like, we could meet again later," she suggested. "There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight, and I was going to watch it from the Church's roof…" 

It sounded utterly romantic, and there was a coy promise in her demure eyes. Zack quickly agreed, even though he knew he would have to sneak out of the SOLDIER barracks to do so. There was a good chance he'd get caught. Seeing Aeris again would be worth it, though. 

"Goodbye, Zack." She said, giving him a little kiss on the cheek. Zack felt himself blush a bit at that.

"Bye, Aeris." He responded, and tweaked her nose playfully. She gave his hand one last squeeze, then retreated down the street. 

Zack sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets; they felt uncomfortably cold without Aeris's in their grasp. His heart was light as he strode down the street, and the gray cloudy sky didn't seem nearly as dismal.

As soon as Aeris had turned the corner from where she left Zack, she ran. Her pulse throbbed painfully, and a surge of adrenaline, the result of her panicked fear, kept her running. She wouldn't stop until she made it to Elmyra's house, and when her adoptive mother asked her what was out there to scare her so, she wouldn't have an answer. 

From a nearly rooftop, a tall and dark figure had watched the couple part. The crimson of the dying sun washed over him, tinting his delicate features with blood, and it seemed to fit him somehow. Unnatural green fires blazed in his eyes, glowing embers set out like jewels from his pale face. 

_The Church roof, hmmm? _

He smiled, a handsome and deadly smile, and remembered the pretty pink rose. 

_It's a date, Aeris. _

Sephiroth, in his eternal sleep of death, remembered all of this with no remorse and no shame. The memory of his hatred of Zack remained sharp and bitter tasting in his mouth, and his all-encompassing desire to own and subjugate Aeris pulsed even stronger. It had been so strong in his life that Aeris could almost sense it, as could Zack. To some extent, they knew he was dangerous, and that he was hungering for her. Did they voice their concerns? Yes, he was certain they had. He searched his mind, and pinpointed the event. It was when Aeris and Zack were walking, on that chilly afternoon, and talk had turned to Zack's job. He seemed reluctant to mention Sephiroth, but did nonetheless, and Aeris's body became rigid as she stared up at the sky…her mind flung, perhaps, to that time in her far future, when her end would fall upon her from the heavens. 

"Aeris?" The insufferable boy had asked. 

"I know Sephiroth is a brilliant general, and great warrior, but…" Aeris trailed off, and worry crept into her eyes. With her hands clasped together at her chest, she looked very vulnerable. "I…I don't trust him. There is something about him…that makes me nervous."

"Aeris?" asked Zack in concern, noting the fear on her face. "Has he been bothering you?" He recalled, faintly, the evil smouldering emotion in Sephiroth's eyes when he had seen Aeris, and banished it with dislike. 

"Oh, no," she answered quickly, "nothing like that! I'm just being silly, Zack. He hasn't done anything to me." 

Sephiroth as well as Zack could hear the unspoken 'yet' at the end of her sentence, and the memory of her fear and her near prophetic words made the silver-maned General smile.

Yet.

He hasn't done anything to me yet. 

And for Aeris, 'yet' would come too soon. 

I changed my mind…Fire and Ice is going to continue, and not in sequel form. One big lump called 'The Sick Rose.' Tee hee. ^_^ I'm thinking of changing the title…any suggestions? 


	4. The Sick Rose

Disclaimer: FFVII is the sole property of Squaresoft, and most importantly, not me.

Enjoy…

O rose, thou art sick!  
The invisible worm,  
That flies in the night,  
In the howling storm,

Has found out thy bed  
Of crimson joy,  
And his dark secret love  
Does thy life destroy.****

--William Blake, "The Sick Rose"

**The Sick Rose**

Standing in her little room in Elmyra's house, Aeris stared hard at her reflection in the mirror. She frowned at herself, glaring down at her worn pink dress, and glanced at the open closet. Her precious few other clothing items hung inside, but she didn't go to change just yet. Aeris returned her eyes back to the mirror. She pursed her lips in a pout, and piled her hair on top of her head, soft curls dangling through her fingertips. Slowly, she swiveled the lower half of her body halfway to admire the curve of her back.

"I always did like it when you wore your hair up," a soft voice from the doorway commented. "You look very sophisticated." Aeris jumped in fright and turned around to see her foster mother Elmyra watching her. Faint amusement sparkled in the woman's knowing eyes, and Aeris blushed fiercely, feeling guilty for no reason.

"So who is this special someone you're dressing up for?" Elmyra asked, bustling into the room and sorting through Aeris's closet. "Is it that horrid young Materia vendor from down the street?"

"What?! Mother!" The embarrassment in Aeris's voice made her exclamation come out as a squeak. "NO!" 

Elmyra smiled gently, to show that she was just teasing. "Well, whoever he is, I hope you'll bring him here one day. I'd love to meet him."

"Mother!" Aeris huffed in indignation. "How do you even know that I'm going out to meet a guy? I haven't said anything!" 

"Believe me, a mother knows," winked Elmyra. "The way you danced about when you got home, all bubbly, humming to yourself, rambling on about what you were going to wear…what else could it be?" Aeris's cheeks were flaming red by now, and she buried her face in her hands.

"It's alright, dear," Elmyra said demurely, patting Aeris's knee. "I'm sure he's a charming young man. I would love to meet him." 

Aeris's green eyes showed a spark of alarm before she covered it up. "Oh, Mom…we just met and everything. It's not even serious." This was as close to a lie as Aeris could get. She knew, of course, about Elmyra's late husband, who had been an honorable man before getting involved in Shinra's SOLDIER program. Once he gained prominence in the ranks, he stayed away from home more and more often. After a six-month station in Junon, he visited Elmyra, and they had a fight. He left the next day, was transferred to the front lines in the battle against Wutai, and Elymra never saw him again. 

Aeris could see the raw wound the death of her husband had left on Elmyra, even after all these years. Elmyra hated SOLDIER with a passion, blaming the project for stealing her love away…and eventually sending him off to die. Her heart had never healed; Elmyra had never moved on. She had strictly forbidden Aeris from having any contact whatsoever with employees of Shinra, a rule Aeris had had no trouble keeping, until now of course. 

So telling her Zack was a SOLDIER, and a good one at that, would not be very wise. 

"Still," Elmyra was saying, "I have to make sure he's good enough for my Aeris. No common boy will do for you, I can tell already. You're going to capture the attention of someone special. Someone…great." 

Aeris bit her lip and smiled shyly. _I think I've already got it. _

Elymra embraced Aeris tightly, then drew back and grinned mischievously at her. "Now, about those clothes…I think I may have something just a bit nicer for you to wear…"

The older woman abruptly rushed from the room, then returned in a flurry, her arms filled with bright, nearly-new clothing. 

Aeris was astounded. "Where did you get all of these outfits? They must have been awfully expensive…"

"No, no. When I was your age, my elder sister was an excellent seamstress. She could make a silk purse out of a potato sack. She was the one who made all of these; many of them were hers originally. I've saved them for years, so one day I could pass them along to my daughter as she passed them to me." Elmyra said affectionately, her voice serious but loving.

"Mother…" Aeris teared up a little, and wiped at her eyes. "Thank you. It means a lot to me, that you would trust me with things that obviously mean so much to you."

"Well, I want you to have them. I'm sure they'll look nicer on you than they did on me! So humor an old woman, and start trying them on! You need an experienced opinion on this, after all…"

"Right!" Smiling, Aeris reached for the first dress.  

Zack lay awake in the darkness of his barrack room, eyes staring at the ceiling. Lights out had been called about five minutes ago, and his cell pitched into darkness, the only light coming from the milk pallor of the stars. It cast a pale glow over his face, outlining his rumpled black hair in silver. Zack's body was still, but his heart was racing as he contemplated the seriousness of what he was going to do. 

His mind had been on Aeris ever since he left her at the crumbling Church, and she invited him to come back that night to watch the meteor shower. Her twin green eyes were so lucid and bright, gazing unassumingly into his pair of Mako-enhanced blue ones…he couldn't have said no to those eyes even if he had wanted to. Which he didn't, of course. It was just that…sneaking from the barracks after lights out was called was, in its harshest form, an offense punishable by discharge from SOLDIER. 

Zack favored the whitewash ceiling with a wry smile. _And I've got the feeling I'm not on General Sephiroth's good side right now, who knows why. He'd probably leap at the chance to kick me out with as much dishonor as possible. _He sighed, and idly scratched his chest, knowing full well no matter what the danger, he would meet Aeris on the Church's rooftop tonight. _Yeah, so what that I've dreamed and worked my entire life of being a SOLDIER. Aeris disproved my entire way of thinking in a day. I'm not even sure I want to be a SOLDIER anymore, and all it took was a talking-to from a flower girl. No, not just any flower girl: Aeris. _A goofy grin spread over his face, and he steadied his breathing reflexively to prepare himself. 

Zack listened for a moment, tracking his roomate's relaxed snoring; after deciding the other SOLDIER was truly asleep, he slowly sat up in bed and shifted his legs to hang over the side. He slid noiselessly from the stiff white sheets, and propped some pillows under them to give the guise of a slumbering man. Zack put on a tight, long-sleeved, black turtleneck and, with some difficultly due to the dark, struggled into his pants. He clipped his leather belt around his waist, cinching it as quietly as possible, and slipped on his heavy brown boots. As he moved across the room to the door, his eyes caught the metallic gleam of his Buster sword leaning in the corner. Zack took a step towards it, then changed his mind and continued to the door. 

True, the Buster sword had been his constant companion for several years now, strapped faithfully to his back on every mission he went on, and in his hands during every battle. But to bring it to the Church, and to have it in the untainted presence of Aeris, just seemed wrong somehow, like it would just bring more fear and coldness into her life. 

Zack opened the door with deliberate slowness, wincing as the rusted hinges let out a squeak. He stepped outside on light feet, and shut the door as quietly as he could. Sticking close to the gray concrete walls, Zack edged away from his barrack, his keen Mako-blue eyes piercing the darkness. The night was warm, and Zack smiled up at the stars. He could already see past the end of the SOLDIER compound, which only consisted of two long, dull building clumped side by side, to the Midgar streets beyond. Joy beat in his chest; the knowledge that he would see Aeris again made him speed up his stealthy pace. Zack was completely focused on his anticipated goal, which was perhaps why he failed to sense the tall black shadow behind him. 

There was a tap on his shoulder. 

"You wouldn't be sneaking out anywhere, would you, Lieutenant?" said a familiar voice, devoid of emotion save a certain sadistic smugness. Startled, Zack leapt forward and pressed his back to the wall, crouched in an alert position, hands itching for his sword. 

_Oh no…_Dread tightened its black-scaled coils around his heart as recognition immediately set in. He was the mouse caught in the claws of a very cruel, powerful cat. A cat with silver fur. 

"Well, Lieutenant? Do you have anything to say for yourself?" The fierce glow of Sephiroth's green eyes illuminated his face, showing the slight smirk on his lips. Zack stared at him, speechless…struck dumb.

"Pathetic," scoffed Sephiroth disgustedly, delightedly, "this behavior for a SOLDIER is reprehensible and dishonorable. Sneaking out after-hours is strictly forbidden, you do realize that? And if you did attempt to sneak out, you should have not been so easily caught. You could have at least brought a weapon…I really thought you were more capable than this. You're a disgrace to your instructors and to this unit." 

Zack just shook his head; in disbelief or denial even he didn't know. 

Sephiroth regarded him as one might regard a bug, or some other lesser life-form. Zack met his gaze steadily, not letting any of his fear show in his eyes. The General seemed to come to some sort of decision, and actually smiled, showing even white teeth. 

"Report back to your barrack immediately, Lieutenant. Because this is a first-time offense, I'll let you off easy. But expect to train harder than you ever have; your skills are growing lax." Sephiroth's voice grew softer. "It's almost a shame you won't be going tonight. You could have prayed to improve your abilities." His voice became hard and authoritative once more. "You are dismissed." 

As if in a daze, Zack stumbled away from the wall and the shadow, and blundered into his room. His mind was frozen. All the excitement and fervent joy had been sucked out of him, leaving only numbness. Zack sat down heavily on his bed and rested his head in his hands, shoulders slumped down in disappointment.        

Several minutes later, Zack realized something, and in that moment all the blood drained from his face. Sephiroth's exact words came rushing back at him, his memory suddenly sharp and poignant. _"It's almost a shame you won't be going tonight. You could have prayed to improve your abilities." _

Sephiroth _knew_. It wasn't important how he had found out…but he knew where Zack had been going the whole time. And if he knew that, he probably knew who was going to be there. Zack felt violently sick as he made the connection.

Sephiroth was going to Aeris's Church. 


	5. The Worm

AN: Thanks to those who have stuck with me this far. You know who you are, and I really appreciate all your help and encouragement. ^_^ Nya!

The Worm 

The night was still and calm; above, the heavens were weakly sparking with shards of silver glass, partially hidden by the thick clouds of smog and dust that rose and clogged the air. The pungent, acrid scents of Mako and filth hung on the wind, ready to squeeze the breath out of anyone unlucky enough to smell them. The breeze was sharp, biting; it leapt around corners and attacked with icy cold fangs. Glinting buildings hungrily crowded the streets, hulking gray wolves half-enveloped by shadow. The city of Midgar, a dry, soulless husk during the day, was transformed into a dark, ravenous beast by night, eager to feed on the sufferings of many. The inhabitants were hidden away in their cramped homes, slumbering uneasily in the belly of the beast as their lives slipped away without their even knowing. Midgar's appetite was insatiable; there could never be enough misery and despair in its mind. 

Walking down the black empty vein of a street was another creature of the night, with confident powerful strides and long silver hair. Strapped onto his back was a long, thin blade, legendary in its own right. A small, calculated smile was on his handsome face as he cut through the darkness with ease, and Midgar snarled at his arrogance. But Sephiroth did not fear the slavering city surrounding him, nor did he even care about it, and Midgar lost its predatory features before his indifference. A motorcycle roared down the street, barreling straight towards Sephiroth and showing no indication of swerving. The driver's eyes were large and vacant, and patches of toxic green oozed through his skin. Another victim of Shin-Ra and their greed, somehow he had contracted Mako poisoning, and had lost his mind. 

With a casual, almost lazy motion, the Masamune was unshealthed. Sephiroth waited until the last possible moment, with the motorcycle's lights glaring into his eyes, and neatly stabbed the driver through the chest. With a spray of red blood, the man fell forward on the handlebars.  The motorcycle, heedless of its slain occupant, careened down the sidewalk and crashed with a fiery explosion into the side of a building. 

Throughout the entire ordeal, Sephiroth's face remained totally void of emotions, barely registering he had just killed a man. He carefully wiped the blood from Masamune and slipped it back into the sheath. His mind at that moment could not be father away, as he was focused on only one thing: a delicate being of red, pink, and brown, spun from earth and sunshine, with the Lifestream in her eyes.

Aeris.

Nothing would keep him from getting what he desired, and that was her. After picturing her in his mind, Sephiroth's traveled to what he would do upon reaching her. He knew instinctively, almost as though the actions were bred into him for this single purpose of desecration.  

He wanted…to corrupt her. He wanted to see her defiled, dirty, down on her hands and knees before him, knocked off her tangible pedestal of purity. Aeris represented everything that he was not; for that he hated and loved her. She was the most exquisite form of torture possible for him, like an angel who he could touch if only he broke her wings. He didn't mind. He would probably enjoy it. 

Sephiroth knew he could have his choice of women or men, and the one he wanted, his direct opposite, belonged to another…Zack. That's whom she would be expecting, who she wanted to come, but not who would show up. Instead of her rakish, charming knight, she would get the enigmatic dark angel Sephiroth.    

_She cannot be Zack's for long. I will make her love me…even if foolish Zack has already claimed her for his own. _Sephiroth smirked. _That has never stopped me from taking what I wanted before, and I'll be damned if I let it stop me now._

Behind him, the city of Midgar trembled eagerly, scenting that soon there would be fresh pain to slake its thirst.

"Goodbye, Mother!" Aeris called as she hurried from the house, a shawl wrapped around her narrow shoulders. Elmyra waved as her daughter retreated into the night.

"Have a good time, sweetie! And please, be careful!" She clasped her hands together at her chest, a motion very reminiscent of Aeris. 

"I will!" floated back the reply. Elmyra swallowed hard, her smile fading, and tried to keep the knot of worry from settling in her throat. It was just…it seemed like there was something _unnatural _about tonight. She hoped desperately that Aeris would be alright; she hadn't even wanted to allow Aeris to go meet her secret boyfriend, but the girl was just so excited, she couldn't say no. And Aeris had looked so beautiful in the thin-strapped gown…_My gown_, thought Elmyra with a hint of melancholy, remembering how she had worn it when she was Aeris's age, going out to meet the man who would eventually become her husband…but that was ages ago, when life was simple and not as dangerous as it was now. Aeris was out there alone, and that caused a sick feeling in her stomach. Any number of things could happen to the girl, and none of them were good.   

A tear trailed down Elmyra's cheek as she stared out into the darkness, and shivered. Her stomach clenched as her eyes took in the abnormal green glow of Midgar, and the marrow in her bones ached. The last time she had felt remotely like this was the day she found Aeris at the train station, after watching Ifalna die from incurable wounds. The woman's eyes had been so pleading as she begged for Elmyra to take care of her little girl, it was heartbreaking. But even then, it was pity and sadness and nervousness.   

This…couldn't just be nervousness; this entire night was _wrong_! Elymra forced herself to look away from the burning mix of black and green, and instead gazed down at her clenched hands. __

_Oh Aeris, my heart…please, please be careful! _   

The only response to her prayer was the stirring of the pale, sparse blades of grass under the breeze, and the lonesome keening wail of the wind.  

A petite, obviously female figure stood on the roof of the Church, a silhouette outlined in silver from the stars that shone through the clouds. Aeris exhaled and watched as the visible white puff of air rose from her mouth and trailed upwards. 

"I didn't know it was going to get so chilly," she commented quietly, drawing her shawl closer around her narrow shoulders. "Or maybe it's just that this dress bares too much skin." She amended. Aeris smiled down at the gown, feeling a little silly and out of place, like a princess in a kingdom of soot and trash. 

"It's fancier than what I'm used to, true, but Mother was so happy to see me wear it…" She twirled around lightly, admiring the way it swirled around her legs. The dress was long and almost reached the ground. It was light pink silk, overlaid with a covering of black lace in spiraling, abstract rose patterns. The straps were thin and crossed in the back, and the cut of the top was modest. A thin matching black lace choker was around her elegant, craned neck; hanging on the choker was a small Materia, a drop of emerald blood against pale skin. 

Aeris touched her fingers to it gently, feeling the comforting warmth emanating from it like sunshine. She smiled and marveled at how this Materia, her birth-mother's, always had the power to make her feel better and put her anxiety to rest.

She glanced up towards the sky, green eyes attempting to pierce the cloudy darkness of the night. Aeris gasped as suddenly, a bright flare of blue and silver sparked against the smoky backdrop, and streaked across the heavens. The meteor shower was starting, and it was one of the most beautiful things Aeris had experienced during her short lifetime, along with newly budding flowers, the sound of raindrops on the roof, Elmyra's warm comforting hugs, and Zack's smile. 

She sighed. _Zack…_He was late, and she didn't like to think about the possible reasons why. He might have gotten caught, or lost in the slums, or mugged, or maybe even struck with the realization that he didn't like her at all and didn't want anything else to do with her. Aeris bit her lip, chiding herself silently; she should have more faith in Zack than that_. And besides, it's not like we have a commitment to each other or anything. This is one date—no, not even really a date, just a friendly meeting between a girl and a guy._

Another meteor, smaller than the first, shot by next to its predecessor's fading trail. It briefly lit up the darkened sky, and Aeris started as the light crept slowly over the roof. She noticed a pair of legs emerging from the stairs, shifting slightly as they climbed. Black boots, dark baggy pants…"Zack!" Happily, Aeris hurried over to greet him. 

And stopped short as the flare from a third meteor illuminated the man's face. He was a silver black green blur before her eyes.

It was Sephiroth. 

The hard sky behind her suddenly exploded with streaming meteors, trailing cold fire behind them, and for a moment night became day. The Planet burst into awareness in her mind, awaking from its usual slumbering dormancy, and shrieked frantic incomprehensible things at her. Her head throbbed under the assault, and she struggled to focus on the situation at hand. Sephiroth hadn't moved since she noticed him, instead choosing to stand motionless, arms crossed, and watch her. His silence, added to his emotionless mask, black clothing, and imposing stature, frightened Aeris enough to mentally push away the Planet's garbled screams.    

"G-General?" Aeris squeaked. "Wha--? What are you doing here?" Her voice sounded weak and a knot settled in her throat. Sephiroth smirked, but gave no other outward sign that he had heard her. Aeris took a few steps back, and her skin prickled. She swallowed and tried again.

"General Sephiroth, what are you doing here?" Aeris couldn't keep the fear from her voice; the question ended up sounding thin and pleading. Her muscles tensed, and again she moved back to avoid him, although he didn't move. 

"Finding you, of course," he answered in his silky, powerful voice, his eyes still locked with hers. 

"W-why?" Another step back. 

He smiled then, and his eyes narrowed. "To inform you that due to…unfortunate circumstances, Zack will not be meeting you tonight."

Aeris felt as though one of the meteors scarring the sky above had crashed down into her. She was aware of how very cold and exposed in her dress she was, and every inch of her bare skin crawled. _Oh gods…Zack isn't here…and Sephiroth is! I have to get away from here! I always try to see the good in people but all I see in Sephiroth is anger…a-and madness…I don't know what he's going to do to me!_

Retreating, her foot moved backwards and encountered only empty space; she had reached the end of the roof. Aeris let out a small scream as she lost her balance, her arms flailing wildly as she tried to propel herself in vain. She started to fall backward, and squeezed her eyes shut as she envisioned plummeting to the pavement below to become a bloody mess. 

But luckily, or perhaps unluckily, she felt strong arms around her, supporting her and pulling her safely back up to the roof. Sephiroth had saved her, but his emerald eyes that were so like her own—_no! He's not like me!_—were smoldering, brimming with emotion. Anger…disgust? Or…desire? She was keenly aware of his hands gripped tightly around her upper arms.

"But luckily for you, Aeris," he said, and the way in which he said her name resonated horribly in her ears, "because I knew you were expecting to see _someone_…I took it upon myself to take Zack's place."   

Aeris wondered if she would have been better off plunging to her death on the ground below. At least then she would know what would become of her.

"I've got you now," he whispered so softly she wasn't sure he really said it. "You're mine." 

Against her will, a tear slid down her cheek, and with a strange fascination he watched it fall. Aeris felt panic and whirling vertigo pressing in on her from all sides; her heart was too loud in her ears, and she tasted bitter desperation like bile in the back of her throat. 

Her mind screamed for anyone: Zack, Elmyra, the faint memory of her birth mother Ifalna, her Ancient ancestors, even Tseng. Anyone other than the smiling demon of silver and shadows holding her… 


	6. Thy Life Destroy

A/N: Thanks everyone. It's been a fun ride and there's one more chapter to go. And this isn't meant to glorify violence or rape in any way, even though nothing really gross happens…ah well. Peace out and enjoy. This is a long one. 

Thy Life Destroy 

In his dark, empty universe between life and death, where time raced by and yet never moved at all, Sephiroth mulled back over his life. That was all he could do, really: think. He felt no remorse or shame in his past actions. He simply viewed them as his, and that was what was right. But he also experienced a more unbiased opinion of himself, somehow being able to observe himself and his deeds from an outside view. Some part of his mind untainted by Jenova, perhaps, and cast off to the side while the rest destroyed? It seemed as though a part of him remained strangely detached and could pull together an explanation almost…rationally. Like a trained psychiatrist, he diagnosed himself. 

Sephiroth knew he was twisted. His idea of success had pertained to military conquests before Jenova began controlling him through weaknesses in his mind. He shared the pain he felt in his life with others; his philosophy of treating people stemmed from what he had been taught as a child. A child faced with friendliness learns to love; a child faced with indifference learns to hate. Sephiroth had no identity as a person, and for a child, something like that will haunt him forever.

That was not to say all the blame for the way he turned out belonged to his childhood caretakers. Every person has a degree of control over directing their course of fate, and Sephiroth had steered brashly down the path of false pride, overwhelming strength, and mindless warfare, when he could have chosen to simply do what was right. There was not as much glory involved, but there was a lot less sacrifice as well. But he didn't, and that was what mattered; the unalterable truth was that he was probably evil well before his corruption by Jenova. Then, in the sudden rush of madness brought on by the notebooks in Shinra mansion, Jenova's honeyed lies seemed to fill in the cracks of his sanity. He was given a renewed purpose, and a glorious, noble one at that: avenge the Cetra and take back the Planet. With a set goal, Sephiroth thought he knew who he was.      

_Yes_, said the outside-observer part of Sephiroth. _You were still that frightened little boy strapped to a lab table in Hojo's laboratory. That's who you were and who you will never cease to be. You never grew past that point_.

_You never learned the definition of "love". You never cared to._

Sephiroth snarled. Love was nothing but a pathetic human emotion—a _weakness_—that could turn even the best and brightest of SOLDIERs into timid, idiotic saps. It was only for the weak, for those who knew no better. No, Sephiroth was above such base feelings. He was immune to love, for he did not need it.

_Everyone needs love_, whispered the outside part of Sephiroth. _It is what holds that Planet together. It is why mothers fight to the death for their children. It is why families do not abandon each other. It is why Cloud resisted Jenova and you did not. It is why Aeris went to the City of Ancients and prayed to save the Planet…even when she knew doing so would spell her end. Love. _

Shut up! Sephiroth shouted, his voice silent yet echoing off into the unending darkness. That isn't true!

_It is! _It was relentless; _he _was relentless. _Love should not be withheld from any creature! Love is what makes life truly worth living for! Aeris could have taught you, WOULD have taught you what love was, but you tainted it and tainted her! What you did to her nearly unmade her, and because of you she went through hell! You destroyed everything you touched…even the only one who could have saved you from yourself. _

The voice, its point made, lapsed into silence. Sephiroth fumed. Lies, it was all lies! Love was not a savior; it was a seducer and a teaser and ultimately an abuser . He was better off for being cold and strong and alone, rather than weak and loved.

After all, Aeris had loved, and look at what it had gotten her.     

_Yes,_ said the voice sadly, _look. _   

Aeris had nowhere else to run, and tried to fight off the sense of fear and pain that was currently growing in her mind. She pushed away the thought that Sephiroth was looking at her the way she had once seen a cat watching a bird…hungry, scheming, and impatient. 

As long as there were creatures with needs and minds roaming this Planet, there would be the age-old song of kill or be killed. There were predators and prey. Sephiroth knew which he was, with his sharp dangerous instinct and taut, eager body. So what did that leave for her? She knew, instinctively: the role of the bird. 

Aeris stared confusedly at him for a moment, then started to struggle as she felt the bruising grip of his hands on her arms. "Sephiroth…you're hurting me!" 

He surveyed her with unspeakably cold green eyes, looking down at her as she tried to melt into the wall at her back. But the things he could _feel_ from her, just from this simple skin-on-skin touch: the nearly-imperceptible throbbing of her pulse; the rapid rise and fall of her chest as she breathed; the willow-wisps of her hair as they tickled his arms; and her tiny, scared heart beating like that of a frightened rabbit. 

All this from his hands clenched around her upper arms. Aeris thrashed around, but with her feet barely touching the ground, her arms constricted, and Sephiroth pressed against her, she had no chance. 

She raised her head and looked away from him, closing her eyes as the glimmer of tears could be seen under her thick lashes. "Please…you're hurting me…" Aeris repeated in a whisper, her voice choked and desperate. When he didn't answer at first, she took a tentative, hopeful glance at him. 

It was what he was waiting for. 

Crushing one arm against her chest to hold back both arms, Sephiroth grabbed her chin in her other. She stiffened as he leaned very, very close to her, his lips centimeters from her ear.

Sephiroth smiled and replied softly, "One cannot live fully without embracing pleasure…but how will we know pleasure without first knowing pain?" He licked her ear with sadistic glee. 

Aeris, completely terrified now, opened her mouth to scream, and Sephiroth took advantage of that to capture her lips with his. 

Zack's kiss had been sweet, gentle, and full of love; Sephiroth's was hard and cruel, demanding, and Aeris felt herself growing dizzy from lack of oxygen. Her head swam, and the rushing tempo of her blood pounded in her ears as she forced her eyes open. All she could see was silver and darkness, and tears leaked down her cheeks as she tried to pull away. Sephiroth refused to move, his harsh caress obviously only ending when he allowed it. His mouth released hers finally, and she couldn't help it, she audibly gasped for air to chase away the colored spots dancing in her vision. And when she spoke, it was in a strangled, shaking little whimper. 

"Don't…don't do this…" Against her flushed skin, the tears felt very cold. Her mind flew to Zack, clung to him, and screamed for him, wherever he was, to come save her from this nightmare. "I…I'm…"       

Sephiroth looked her over speculatively, and brought one of her hands, the one gripped in his, up to level with his face. Aeris cringed and shuddered, managing to pull her arm away using every ounce of her strength; even then she got the feeling that he let her. And it was ultimately futile, as Sephiroth pinned it again to her side. Under the sickly light of the half moon, he looked like sibilant silver angel fallen from grace.        

He touched her bruised lips with a fingertip, as though admiring his work. Aeris half-heartedly jerked her head away from his stroke, feeling stunned and dizzy. Her mind was so sluggish…and she was suddenly so tired… 

The grip of Sephiroth's fingers tightened around her arms and forced her back to the present. Sharp green eyes stared at her, saw _into _her, saw through her and behind her and from inside her.

_Please…no! Let this be some horrible nightmare!_ But she knew it wasn't, even as she had those thoughts.  

Unexpectedly, Sephiroth hefted her into the air, face level to him, instead of nearly a head below him as she was before. Aeris couldn't help it; upon clearly seeing the mad desire shining in his eyes, she moaned in desperation and started struggling again, her actions tinged with despair.

"Please Sephiroth…you're hurting me!" She cursed herself for sounding so pitifully weak, but she couldn't keep the raw fear from her plea. She didn't care anymore. He simply fixed her with those bright, beautiful, cold green eyes, staring down at her as she tried to get _away _from him, and she lost it. All she could do was weep.   

_I'm going to die here._ Aeris stifled a sob as the horrible realization ripped through her. _I'm going to die here and no one will know. _ 

"Stop that." Sephiroth ordered sternly, giving her a shake. He detested weakness of any kind, and crying was as weak as one could get. Aeris's terror only grew. Her struggles against him became more frantic as her sobs broke and she screamed.

"Someone HELP ME!" 

Angrily, Sephiroth whirled her around and slammed her back to one of the decorated pillars adorning the Church's roof. Aeris's head smacked against the stone with a dull thud, and she felt something warm run thickly down the back of her neck. Darkness began creeping along the edges of her vision. Her body shuddered and went limp, but luckily—unluckily?—she retained consciousness. 

Sephiroth leaned very close to her, so close that his hot breath tickled her cheek. "Enjoy that pain, Aeris. It's that last thing you'll ever feel." Her vocal cords were forcibly silenced now; her mind shrieked for her to cry out, to fight, to look away! but she couldn't will her body to obey her. She could only watch.            

He buried his head near her shoulder, and kissed the white skin of her throat heatedly. His tongue slithered down her neck, delighting in feeling the rapid pulse there. He didn't want tenderness though. He wanted to mar her perfection, and bit her hard at the base of her neck, where it met the shoulder. Aeris's blood froze to ice in her sluggish veins, her eyes blank, and she watched as the world fell away. His hand wandered everywhere; his fingers left their grip on her arms to wander across her stomach, higher up to caress her breasts, lower…She jerked spastically, in pain, and felt her mind slipping. Then. On Sephiroth's shining silver hair, there was a green tint. Her eyes slowly traced to where the viridian light was originating. 

_…the Materia. My mother's…my birth mother's. _Aeris couldn't get her head to stop aching, or the world to stop swimming in and out of her eyesight. _But how do I use it? I can't think! _

Despondently, without hope, Aeris cried out to the only one she finally realized would be listening.

_Planet…help me! Please! Help me! _

There was utter silence at first, but then an angry thrumming swelled in response. Energy, pulse-pounding, painful energy, bubbled and burned up in her body. The Planet's voice grew louder and louder, until it encompassed her entire mind. Ancient, dirge like chants bubbled unbidden from her lips, words she had never and would never know. The pressure inside her built up, until Aeris found it hard to breath for the strain on every part of her body. 

Sephiroth looked up, and saw his pretty prey glowing green, brightest from the sphere sitting at the base of her neck. One delicate silver eyebrow arched upwards. 

"What—" Was all he managed to say, before the energy exploded from Aeris. It knocked him back at least twenty feet, where a marble pillar halted his voyage. The force and speed at which he hit it probably would have killed a lesser man, but Sephiroth was only severely stunned. His eyes squeezed shut as he struggled to stave off unconsciousness.   

The bright green radiance slowly died away, leaving Aeris slumped against the pillar, her skin pale, beads of sweat running from her brow. The chorus of voices that had swelled in anger inside her mind subsided, now only a hazy memory, but as they faded they cleansed the confusion and dizziness so she could think clearly. Aeris pressed a hand to the back of her head, and it came away sticky with blood. Trembling, she whispered a Cure spell and cast it on herself, near instantly revitalizing her tired mind and body. The young woman shakily stood and saw Sephiroth sprawled on the roof, unmoving. The Planet, having now been alerted that Aeris was in danger, screamed.

_RUN!_

She needed no second warning. Aeris stumbled down the stairs. The heel on one of her shoes snapped and sent her tumbling over the last few steps. Her arm, twisted under her, throbbed; Aeris hastily ripped her shoes off and cast them to the side. All that mattered now was getting the most distance between her and Sephiroth as possible. The brown-haired girl raced down the aisle of the church and burst out from the rotting doors into the night. Her heart thumped fiercely in her chest, an accompaniment to the pattering of her bare feet on the dirty streets. The edge of her beautiful, black-lace over pink silk dress got snagged on a jagged piece of pipe sticking out of a brick wall. She kept going, ignoring the tearing sound, ignoring the feel of the ripped material's threads on her legs. 

_Planet, where do I go? I cannot run home…I would only lead him there, and I know he would hurt Elmyra…_She gasped as she dodged a motorcycle, the lights burning her eyes, and skinned her knee on the pavement. She hardly felt it as she scrambled to her feet again, dashing down the darkened street. Aeris turned one corner, then another; she didn't know where she was going, but it felt good to run. Normally, she would be panting in exertion from so much flight, but fear gave her a steady flow of adrenaline that surged through her legs and kept her darting through the shadows.

She knew, without question, that this was the deadliest threat she would ever face. The slums, the Turks, Shin-Ra…all paled in comparison to this man who _wanted_ her and who wanted to hurt her at the same time. Around her neck, the Materia of Ifalna glowed faintly. The night, which only an hour before had seemed inviting and exciting, had turned bitter and cold. Aeris sprinted faster, trying to suppress her tears. Realization sunk into her and stung her heart. 

_Sephiroth was going to…he was going to… _she shuddered, revulsion and terror alight in her tear-filled emerald eyes. _…and Zack never came. If only this was just a dream and none of this had ever happened…!_

Someone grabbed her, and she screamed before a hand clamped over her mouth. The person drew Aeris back into an alleyway and turned her around before freeing her mouth. 

"Aeris?"

"Tseng!" The sight of his familiar face broke her down completely. Everything that had been building up inside of her just flooded out. Aeris gasped in relief, smiled, before she collapsed, sobbing, in his arms. "H-he…he…" Tseng, surprised at her reaction, nonetheless acted quickly. Looking around with lynx-eyes, he pulled the near-hysterical girl into the boarded up door of the nearby warehouse. She fell to the floor with her hands over her eyes as tears spilled down.

"Aeris…Aeris, what's wrong?" The Turk whispered, crouching next to her. She shook her head, her lips clamped tightly together. Tears streamed He grabbed her shoulders, feeling her shy away from his touch, and wondered what could make such a beautiful, loving person cry. "Aeris, tell me!"  She cried because she had nothing left.

"Oh, Tseng…I don't even…I-I feel…disgusting…" Aeris choked, shuddering all over and scraping furtively at a certain trail on her neck until it bled. _No_, he realized, _it was bleeding already._

 "It's too…sickening! I don't want to feel this way…I don't want to walk home alone…" Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. "He's out there in the dark, recovered by now for sure…I feel like his…prey…ugh…" Her hands left the spot on her neck and she started wiping her arms, over and over, as though they were covered with dirt only she could see. Purplish bruises like finger marks decorated those same arms, the brands of something horrible. She looked battered and completely out of it; her lovely dress had a huge rip running up her left thigh, her face was streaked with dirt and tears, dried blood was all over her neck, and her eyes were losing that beautiful life that melted his heart.  

Tseng, usually emotionless, had real concern for her in his ebony eyes. She was so shaken she was babbling. He said the first thing he thought of. "I'll walk you home, Aeris." She sniffled and let her reddened arms fall to her side. 

"Thank you, Tseng. I…just…thank you." Normally Aeris would refuse; she knew Tseng was under orders to capture her, and yet because they were friends, he had disobeyed those orders and even hidden her from the other Turks. 

But tonight, she would take all the protection she could get. Tseng helped her up and put an arm about her shoulders. "Now, come on, let's go. Tell me what happened on the way."     

"I can't," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears once more. "Worse things will happen if I tell…I know it."

Despite her worst fears, Aeris made it home safely. Tseng bade her a goodnight, and told her to get some rest; secretly he was disturbed that she wouldn't tell him what was wrong. 

Aeris slid noiselessly into the house, hugging herself. She snuck past Elmyra, who was slumbering peacefully on the couch, probably intending to wait up for Aeris, to see how her date went. Aeris shook her head, weak and drained from weeping, and tiptoed upstairs. She headed directly to the bathroom, closing the door behind her, and filled the bath with steaming hot water. Soon it reached a high enough level for her, and Aeris peeled the dress from her body, unable to even look at it. It held too many memories that she was already doing her best to forget. 

She would burn that dress. 

The young woman sunk her body into the water, hardly flinching at the high temperature. _Dirty…so dirty…_She soaked for a while, letting the heat cleanse her, scald her. _Tainted…filthy…_Then came the scrubbing. Aeris took a rough sponge and viciously attacked her arms first, scouring them as hard as she could, until they were red and raw. _Still so dirty…_Next she rubbed at her torso and legs, and they too became tender and bloody. Around her, the water swirled pink. Aeris's fingers crept up to her lips, still sore, and she released a wordless, small noise of rage and hurt. _Disgusting…ruined…_She wiped her mouth over and over again and her lips were soon numb…like she was. Like a shallow, emotionless shell. She felt nothing. 

_I wish I could forget! _she cried silently. _I would give anything to forget! _

On the bathroom floor, the Materia glowed brightly. The Planet, its voice sorrowful, comforted her for a moment, then asked, _Anything? The Planet could do this for you, Aeris, but there will be a price to pay. _

"I don't care!" Aeris screamed. "Just make it go away! Make the pain go away!" The Planet hummed sadly. _Very well then. The Planet will make you forget. This night will disappear from your memory forever; the only thing that will remain will be the dire warning to stay away from…him._

"Do it, do it," she wept brokenly. The Planet touched her mind gently. _Everything will have its repercussions. Doing this for you will have effects…_

"W-what effects?" Aeris asked quietly. 

_Even the Planet cannot tell_, it replied, _but you shall know it for what it is when it occurs. It could be anything; good, bad, so small you might not even notice it, so large it might dominate your life. Dear child, last child, so you want to risk this? _

She tried to consider it, but everything was too vague, too confusing, too muddled by terror and the sensation of _sullied_ to understand entirely. So Aeris simply nodded, fat tears rolling down her pale, heart-shaped face to ripple the rose-colored bathwater. 

The Planet sighed (in defeat? grief?) and told her, _Finish your bath and get dressed for bed. Go to sleep, and tomorrow morning you will not remember a thing from this night, as though you never lived it. _

Sniffling, wiping away the last of her tears, Aeris followed the Planet's instructions. She stepped from the bath and let the water drain out, drying herself with a fluffy blue towel. Her scratched skin stung when it touched the air, but she ignored that, instead focused on clothing herself in her long, white nightgown. Aeris noiselessly walked across the hall to her bedroom and curled up under the thick covers of her bed. Despite the agony and adrenaline of the day, Aeris found she was very sleepy, exhausted even; but her eyes did not close for some time. She thought she saw silver in the dark.     


	7. Story's End

A/N: Took me long enough, eh? Enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: FFVII is property of SquareEnix.

_"When you long with all your heart for someone to love you, a madness grows there that shakes all sense from the trees and the water and the earth. And nothing lives for you, except the long deep bitter want. And this is what everyone feels from birth to death." –Denton Welch_

**Story's End**

And so Aeris's memory of _that night_ was mercifully erased, and she awoke the following day feeling refreshed and cheerful. The marks on her body were gone; the torn dress, vanished. The only detail that could be considered amiss was that Ifalna's material still hung around her throat, instead of being pinned in her hair. She wondered at it for a moment, then shook her head, smiled, and replaced it in her hair.

The next day a young man came to visit her, Zack. He asked are you alright, and what happened last night? She looked at him oddly. Nothing happened, silly! I stayed in. Another boring night.

Zack's very blue eyes darkened at that, but he said nothing. Aeris smiled at him sweetly, vacantly, even though he seemed confused about something.

They began seeing each other in secret. Zack could only visit her for small amounts of time; he seemed very afraid of his commanding officer for some reason that he was loathe to tell Aeris. Even so, they grew closer with the passing of every day. He would leave her notes on her windowsill, presents of flower seeds or jewelry in the mailbox.

But whenever Zack would ask her about that strange night, when she said she had done nothing but he knew that wasn't right, Aeris's eyes would take on a strange light and she would always respond with the same answer: "Nothing happened, silly!" Eventually, he gave up asking. Perhaps he was just being paranoid—it wasn't as if his memory was spotless either. But he thought it odd that after all of his insinuations, the General had left Aeris alone. Zack couldn't forget the memory of Sephiroth's eyes burning with that utterly alien combination of lust, anger, and hatred. It would stay with him for the rest of his life, lurking at the edges of his consciousness and making him wake up sweating in the middle of the night.

Sometimes Aeris, too, felt that something was strange. She felt a fog descend over her mind occasionally, when she felt the urge to sit on top of the Church's roof, or at times, when she kissed Zack. It scared her a little, this feeling of missing a piece of herself. Other times, she was overcome with a feeling of foreboding—as if her soul was waiting for something terrible to happen, just waiting.

The Planet assured her that everything was alright, that everything was taken care of.

A little wary nonetheless, Aeris took the Planet's word. It had never lied to her nor led her astray. Other than Zack and Elmyra, it was the one constant, the one thing she could depend on to be there for her when she was scared or alone.

Her life went on. Sephiroth did not bother her again. Occasionally she had disturbing dreams, where a devil of silver and black carried her away. The Planet always soothed her afterwards, sending her bright swirling colors. She couldn't help but wonder about her subconscious and what it was trying to tell her.

And even though he was many miles away from her when it happened, Aeris felt it keenly when Zack died. The terrible thing that her sub-consciousness anticipated had happened. That was the price, the repercussion she had been waiting for. Zack, her love, her life, murdered at the hands of the very man he served. And what had she, albeit unknowingly, traded his life for? Something she could not even remember. But that was how it had to be; that was the pact she had made with the Planet, though she retained no memory of it. Which, perhaps, made it easier for her.

The Planet had made it so Zack's life was forfeit; it was coincidence that Sephiroth, the man that had hurt her so badly she begged for forgetfulness, killed him. If Aeris had known that it was through her own wish that Zack was killed, she never could have lived with herself. So the Planet shielded her, never giving her the truth even if it could have provided closure for her.

Deeply hurt, a grieving Aeris kept on living, without even the solace of knowing she would see Zack again in the Promised Land. He was only human and would have been reborn twice over by the time she entered the plane of her people. The wound slowly healed over, but had scarred her heart for life.

The sutures were torn when she happened to bump into a man on the street with spiky golden hair and fragmented memories. Cloud Strife, though cold and confused, called forth the image of Zack in her mind, so much so that when he left Midgar she left with him–almost guaranteeing her eventual death at the hands of her old enemy.

She died peacefully, the same smile gracing her lips as when she had stepped onto the roof of the Church that night expecting to see Zack. She was not afraid; she went to her death gladly, knowing that she would be able to stop him once she reached the Lifestream. As always, in her quiet and unassuming way, she had known more than he, who had proclaimed to be a god.

They had sealed each others' fates from the moment they met. Like the eternal chase of the sun and the moon, one following another following another, they were destined to destroy each other. And he had made the first blow, setting all other things into irreversible motion. All because he had spotted her that day, a bright spot through the smog and grime of a city with the ability to draw anyone, even someone previously devoid of feeling anything, into her.

* * *

_Do you see what you did? _said the rational bit of Sephiroth left alive. _Not only did you violate her, you were responsible for the death of her love. The price for her to forget your violence was his life—which you took. _

She deserved it, of course. She, with her purity and goodness, had been anathema to him. He hated her and loved her for this, la masochist welcoming pain. He earned her scorn, didn't deserve anything else from such a kind soul. Sephiroth regretted nothing. To regret would be to admit wrongdoing, and to concede would be give in to weakness.

But still, there was one tiny question that nagged at him from a dark recess of his mind, that had sprung up as he remembered their meeting.

_Could she have saved me? _He asked the nothingness.

_Yes, _replied his soul sorrowfully. _She could have cleansed the Jenova from you, freed you from the insanity that plagued your mind. She would have done so happily. She could have been your perfect compliment, the light to your dark. And you killed her. _

_I don't believe you,_ Sephiroth said, feeling the first vestiges of panic and guilt creep around his heart. _Show me._

It did.

Images of Aeris tending to him, a bit fearfully at first but soon warming up and teasing him gently; her tentative attempts at getting him to talk; both of their feelings warming and coalescing into something scary and beautiful all at once. Images of light kisses on the mouth; a shared bed with rumpled sheets; two children, a boy and a girl, running into his open arms. And above all, the overwhelming, inexorable feeling of loving and having been loved in return.

Love. Not a weakening force like he'd thought but one that took someone and reworked him, made him better and stronger, capable of hanging onto life with a sick tenacity, of killing gods. With her as his support, he could have done great things; people could have looked up to him as a god, even if he wasn't one in form.

Mercilessly as blade, the images halted and he was left alone and cold in darkness once more. If he had had a tangible form, it would have been shaking. Having seen the happiness he could have attained, a long-abandoned part of Sephiroth awoke. The old chorus of _how dare she how dare she _was, remarkably, silent, leaving him to his own thoughts.

_Why did I hate her? For her innocence, her existence outside the labs? _He asked himself, the hatred and lust finally falling away, unable to shroud him anymore, revealing something far more real. The truth of his condition crashed into his soul without restraint—he was human, only humans could feel like this. For all of his misguided belief in the power of Jenova and his superiority, he was no better than any other human. _No. I hated her because she refused to love me. I hated her because she made me feel, even if it was something base._ _I wanted to possess because she…she had captured me.._

Sharp realization rocked him to his core. It was years later, of course, but the shock and pain of exactly what he had done—to her, to himself—was as strong as though it had only been yesterday that the sky fell around a church in the slums.

For the first and last time in his being's existence, drifting alone in the valley of the damned and without any hope of redemption, the mighty General Sephiroth cried.


End file.
